Kelvin Teo
Parents cheer their kids on in support as they engage in a game of tug-of-war
Let’s start with two contrasting scenarios:
Scenario 1:
Jack is a tennis player representing his school. He has always wanted his father, Nathan, to be present at his tennis matches. However, Nathan’s boss always have a plethora of projects for him to complete by a certain deadline. Nathan usually knocks off at 8.00 pm everyday. Very rarely does he get to leave the office by 6.00 pm.
Jack made it to the semi-finals of a tournament, the best showing during his entire career as a school athlete. Nursing the hope that he could get his father to come down to support him, he asked his dad once more at the dinner table if he could make it for the match.
Jack: “Dad, I made it to the semi-finals of the national schools tennis tournament.”
Nathan: “Congrats, son! Good job”
Jack: “Dad, I was wondering if you could come down to support me in the semi-finals match 2 days from now. The match is scheduled to be at 5.00 pm.
Nathan: “I am so sorry, son. My company will be flying me out of the country for three days, starting from tomorrow to discuss some deals with our investors overseas.”
Jack: “Ooooooooooooooh” (with a tinge of disappointment in his voice)
Scenario 2:
Jack represents his community club in soccer. Nathan, his father often follows him to training, and even helps out during such sessions. Jack’s team triumphed in a thrilling quarter-final game against their rivals, and the team has made it to the semi-finals for the first time.
Jack: “Hey dad, we got into the semis for the first time!”
Nathan: “When is your big game?”
Jack: “Exactly one week later.”
Nathan: “Ok, let’s see if I can free up my day so that I can help out with the team’s preparation and support you at the big game.”
Nathan is a university professor. On the day of the big game, he was supposed to be conducting a tutorial with a group of students. He called up the group’s representative, and asked if they could schedule their tutorial 2 days earlier. The following conversation took place between Nathan and the group representative (rep).
Nathan: “Hello, I understand that your group has a Biomechanics tutorial with me on Thursday from 3.00 – 5.30 pm. I was wondering if you mind we re-schedule our tutorial to one or two days earlier. My son’s soccer team made it to the semi-finals of the zone championships, and I want to be there to help him and the team prepare for the big game.”
Rep:”Oh okay. Let me check our class schedule first. Okay, according to our timetable, we have no lessons on tuesday, 10.00 – 12.30 pm, 3.00 – 5.30 pm and wednesday, 3.00 – 5.30 pm.”
Nathan:”Shall we change it to tuesday 10.00 – 12.30 pm?
Rep: “Okay. I will send out an email to notify the whole tutorial group. And by the way, send our group’s regards to your son and his team. Hope they do you proud”
Nathan:”Thanks very much for this.”
There are two glaring differences in the scenarios above in terms of parental support for their kids’ sporting endeavours. Most of the time, all our attention is focused on the game itself and the players, with their supporters literally relegated to the sidelines. However, published research that surfaced 2 years ago in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology in 2009 has demonstrated that family and friends support do have an impact on psychology and ultimately, performance on the field. The study analysed 197 amateur golfers playing at a high level. The golfers completed a questionnaire on the level of support they received and level of confidence before their game. They were also quizzed on the factors that could result in stress for them.
The study found that when under stress, golfers with support were able to improve performance by up to one shot per game. On the other hand, those with low levels of support suffered deterioration of up to three shots when subjected to stress. While training and tactics could play a part, encouraging words or gestures from family and friends could make a difference between the player scoring a winning goal or a sportsman breaking the record. Hence, the study by University of Exeter’s School of Sports and Health Sciences concluded that ongoing support of family and friends is one of the important factors determining sports performance, especially in building confidence under increased pressure. Thus, it did not come as a surprise to hear sporting greats such as cyclist Sir Chris Hoy and middle distance runner Dame Kelley Holmes attributing their Olympics success to support from family and friends.
What holds parents back from supporting their kids on the sports field? As you can surmise from the above two scenarios, one of the answers lies in the issue of work-family-life balance. In the first scenario, the father spends most of the time in office, knocking off at 8.00 pm on most days. There is a large imbalance in work-family-life with a greater proportion of time spend in the office, and less time with the family and kids. The second scenario is completely opposite, with the father trying whatever possible means to readjust his work schedule so that he can follow his kid’s sporting exploits.
The inspiration for the second scenario is from a real life case, with details changed to protect the original identities, but the setting is in Australia, where there is a huge emphasis on work-family-life balance. Since my place of residence is close to a sports complex cum community club, I would go down to have a look-see now and then as a rugby fan myself. I have never failed to observe a sizable crew of parents watching at the sidelines when their kids trained or competed in rugby union (conventional rugby) or Aussie rules football (rugby with modified rules which makes the game faster), even during evenings of weekdays.
When I first touched down in Australia, a fellow Singaporean who just received his Australian permanent residency gave me a crash course on a series of “dos” and “don’ts”. An interesting “don’t” that I was told is not to bring over our Singaporean habit of working overtime should I ever find work here. Working overtime is aimed at impressing our Singaporean bosses, but certainly not the bosses here. The first problem is that they will be unhappy paying out overtime remuneration, which is at a higher rate than normal working hours. The second problem is that going beyond normal office hours is not in sync with the culture here. The usual knock-off time is at 5.00 pm. By 4.30 pm, staff will wind down in preparation for knock-off time. Again, there is an emphasis on work-family-life balance. If a fellow works overtime, it is just not in sync with the culture here and in Singapore parlance, this is known as “spoiling market”. As it is, work usually stops at 6.00 pm and most shops and services would be closed by then. In Singapore, service outlets are still accessible even after 7.00 pm.
A recent development was Acting Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports Chan Chun Sing’s announcement of Vision 2030, a 20-year strategy “to unite and ignite the passion of the nation through sports”. Chan is hopeful that Singapore can grow its own sporting culture. Chan’s ministry aims to engage not only people from the sports ecosystem, but also those who are not traditionally involved in sports and bring them on board to discuss pertinent issues. His ministry has also made plans to gather feedback from face to face meetings and social media.
A key to sporting development is the need to recognise the importance of work-family-life balance. The role of work-family-life balance in promoting a sporting culture and paving the way to sporting excellence cannot be under-estimated. For those who are in control of their working hours, it is probably easier to strike that correct work-family-life balance. Yet, not all the time, the control of one’s working hours is in one’s hands. Demanding employers will obviously have an adverse impact on the balance, with most of the employees’ time spent on work, even in cases, where they could be working from home. There is less time for such employees to pursue their own sporting interests, or for parents to follow the sporting exploits of their kids.
However, if we are looking at blazing a trail towards sporting excellence, we cannot underestimate the impact of parental support on the sporting careers (amateur or professional) of their kids. A study has indeed shown the impact of such support on performance, especially in building confidence under stress. If our kids are like Jack in the first scenario where the parent cannot attend his tennis match due to work commitments, then we are missing out on an important element to their sporting successes – a familial source of support. There is a need to recognise that sporting successes are not only built on good coaching, strategies and talent development, but also the largely unnoticed but very important supporters from the sidelines.
Integral to the grand plan of nurturing a sporting culture is the development of good work-family-life balance. Achieving this will require the participation of multiple stakeholders and policy-makers outside the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.
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Photo courtesy of US Army Korea – IMCOMS, Flickr Commons
For a start, the Singapore Sports Council being the lead agency for sports in Singapore should show the way of ensuring sports for their staff is done regularly. They should designate 3 hours per week allocated to playing sports or doing a physical activity. Alternatively, they could champion all government agencies to reduce their work week from the current 44hours per week to 42.5hrs per week. A shorter working hours per week will go a long way to build a sporting culture among all Singaporeans and the fostering family bonding.
It is a bloody mindset set by the PAP government that emphasizes economic growth at all costs. And economic growth equals political survival according to the political masters. Making money is the primary motivation in this capitalist driven society of Singapore. So how can you expect a talented sports boy or girl to want to take the alternative career path to be a professional sportsman/woman to pursue this aspiration. Parents must be reeducated that life is more than just making money or achieving the 5Cs.